Garrett Tocci

My Story

As the older brother of two sisters, I spent many of my earlier years diligently paving a path for them. Attempting to be the best role model - showing courtesy, politeness, and gratitude any chance I had. Maintaining a positive reputation among peers and teachers to ensure that they were primed for success. But as I got older, I began to falter, losing touch with this ideal and falling off the path of altruism. Hampered by my own feelings of inadequacy and anger, I became more disconnected from the family that tried everything to support me. Yet the discontent with my own situation led me to blame my parents and defer personal responsibility for the chaos of emotions within. This dark cloud that loomed over me inevitably pushed away more than family. Riddled by my hard-nosed attitude and harsh judgements, even my closest friends started to drift away. So I found myself feeling alone and depressed with nobody else but myself to blame. And that's when I realized - the 'pain' and the 'suffering' were shackles only created by my mind. I began to understand that these feelings only came with the belief that I did not have control. The belief that I was a victim to my own circumstance. My perception became reality, thoughts influencing feelings and feelings influencing actions. That is when I realized that if anything were to improve, it would have to start with changing the way I thought. This epiphany was the turning point. I no longer viewed myself as a victim, but rather a product of my environment. The circumstance that 'victimized' me, consequently empowered me with the ability to reshape my reality. After that moment, I became more curious and open-minded, gaining an appetite to explore new possibilities.